I'm re-posting this from my other blog, because it's amusing (to me anyways). It comes from me re-reading my high school diary a little while back...
July 26, 1992
Hi, I had another turning point today. Dave and I finally did have sex (To use the term "finally" loosely- he began the pressure in the first few days of the relationship) . It was way different than I expected. For one thing, I expected a lot more pain than I got (There was still plenty of it, and blood though). In the beginning there was some and I almost changed my mind again but I kept going.
It was rather awkward because he said he wanted me on top so I could decide how deep to go and when to stop (Geez- details I have NO memory of). Then when we got that initial part over with we switched. I kind of felt like I was doing nothing. It seems like he was doing all the work (See even then I wanted give it my all - damn I'm awesome!).
Oh well (Hmm, I got over that pretty quickly didn't I?), anyways after a while there was not pain at all, but it wasn't really what I expected. I was concentrating so much on what was happening that I couldn't enjoy it as much as I should have (though I did enjoy it). (A miracle - cause really - hands up- who enjoyed their first time, honestly??)
I can see now why people can do this so often and for so long ("So long"? Hmm, he must have been better than I remembered). I still feel somewhat like a virgin though because of the condom (Good Lord, even back then I was trying to say that certain experiences "didn't count" Sorry Duchess- you've been officially de-flowered). Maybe I should go on the pill so we don't have to use it. (Thank God I waited a couple of years before I discovered the crazy-making joys of the pill) I'll feel much better when it's not on. That way I'll have the full experience. I don't know, but it seems like it would be more enjoyable without it on, for both of us (Well yes- but stupid for talking that way since he had gotten his girlfriend before me pregnant).
I feel like I should feel like a different person, but I don't. It happened. I'm glad it did, but I knew that it would happen someone time soon (since he threatened to break-up with you if you didn't have sex with him soon? You're a genius.) so nothing has really changed.
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5 comments:
It's always interesting to go back and see what we wrote. Like what the hell was I thinking?
I have to say that I enjoyed my first time - no orgasm but it was pleasurable.
It's funny to look back now - I looked over some letters my High School Boyfriend wrote to me - absolutely silly! I can't believe how naive and just plain ignorant we were!
Thank goodness for age and experience!
Nothing like being reminded of the days when we were young...and stupid. ;)
This is really interesting to read your perspectives at the time. And your added comments from today's perspective are hysterical!
I remember my first time. Afterward, my thought... Really? This is it? I mean, I had heard the stories, seen the porn... but. meh.
For one thing, I did not know what the hell I was doing... She lay there and I did not do anything to 'improve access'... i.e. did not lift her legs. After some awkward attempts, we changed and she was on top. That did it, but still... Actually, the night before that night, I had gone down on her (first time I did that ever) and that was way AWESOME. I still remember the taste, or at least that the taste was unique. I also remember I could not handle getting head. I mean, after maybe 30 seconds she had to stop.. very intense and too sensitive for me. It was about 3 GFs later when I could enjoy oral.
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