Wednesday, August 4, 2010

This and That and the Duchess's Voice


"Would you like a pillow?" I shook my head no, not thinking that my knees would be screaming in agony after about 5 minutes of kneeling in front of him on the hardwood floor.

I've mentioned before that I once upon a time I had a boyfriend compare me to another girl in the blowjob department, setting me on a quest to provide the ultimate experience in oral sexuality, hopefully preventing this recipient's mind from straying to other women.

I'm not often competitive, as I find it often leads to negativity and obsession, but in this case, I think it's a good thing. I'm performing a service after all.

As a result, I've been told that I give decent head. Occasionally it's even been assumed that I really enjoy doing it - which must be why I excel. Enjoy it? Maybe. It's gratifying to feel that kind of power in my hands/mouth. Especially when the man is vocal with his appreciation. Silence my dears? Is not golden in these scenarios.

But I don't love it and crave it the way some other women do. As previously mentioned, I sometimes view it as a gift that I'm oh-so-generously bestowing on the man in question. Often it's because sex is not on the table that night/day/lunch hour - why should the man suffer because I'm crampy/having a fat day/too sore from the night before?

I've noticed that men rarely have such compunctions. They will cheerfully drop their pants when asked - especially for head. Why should they hesitate - they don't have to do any work, and we (the women) are not asking to be gratified in any way?

I'm also neutral on receiving oral sex. I tend to be somewhat fussy, and if I don't feel 100% fresh/trimmed/comfortable it can just be distracting and I feel like I have to perform. It defeats the purpose of the man's efforts. Now that being said, I also receive the best, and frequently the fastest, orgasms from it. It's a dilemma to be sure.

Now this new man? He's been quite appreciative of my efforts- as mentioned in my last post, he's quite creative and open-minded. Although I'm sometimes concerned that our kinks don't entirely mesh, it's a challenge I'm cheerfully willing to work on though, as I suspect once we've ironed out the wrinkles, the results will be truly mind-blowing.

It's rare to meet someone so completely aware of their sexual needs and wants, yet not so selfish about them that they ignore what's going on with their partner. I tend to kind of zone out sometimes- not in a negative way, but in a losing-myself-in-the-sensations-of-my-body kind of way. I find it challenging to maintain focus and eye contact with my partner as I'm in the mist of coital bliss. This won't do with him however - he wants me to be with him the entire time. Focused eye contact, knowing that I'm sharing an experience with him. It's occasionally disconcerting, but gratifying and alluring as well. It forces me to be more present and aware of my partner. I hadn't thought of myself as a selfish lover before - I would cheerfully give up my orgasm for the sake of theirs - but this has given me a new perspective on the matter.

And the dirty talk and fantasizing? Oh my darlings - for someone who delights in writing dirty, it's an entirely different thing to walk the talk. (Talk the talk? Walk the walk? Talk the walk? What is the proper expression anyhow?). You'd think that the words would just flow out of me like the juices down my legs. That my needs and desires have just been begging to be heard - just waiting for a live audience to pay homage to my erotic expression.

Not so much. I occasionally find myself wondering how he'd react to a dirty email. I imagine he might enjoy it - however not as a replacement for the eroticism of the moment. He wants to hear my fantasies. He wants them described in delicious detail. He wants to know what I've done, what I've wished done to me, and what I plan to do with/to him and with others. It's intoxicating and terrifying.

Maybe I should practice in front of a mirror...

10 comments:

The Panserbjørne said...

I have to say, it's very exciting hearing how well this is going for you, and how you're rediscovering and exploring things you'd neglected or just hadn't done in a while. It sounds like it's going very well and I hope it keeps doing exactly that. :)

-- PB

Anonymous said...

This was a great post. Unfortunately, I'm very shortly about to put up a post about blowjobs--but I swear, it's not related to this post. lol

Nolens Volens said...

Great reading...can I be the mirror? ;)

Liras said...

LOl, it is talk the talk and walk the walk.

Some of us are very oral, some are not. Some are just hot to suck for certain people.

I am not known to use my mouth that often but when I do--oh boy!

Topaz said...

What I like about you in this post is how you see to his enjoyment, but I love that he sees to yours as well. It's a great combination.

Ms Scarlett said...

Oh, you lucky, lucky girl!!!

There is nothing better than a man who is actually interested in your pleasure. I hope you get to enjoy him for a good, long while.

XO

keatsjohnkeats said...

Contrary to popular belief, men don't need blowjobs all the time. When they are given however, they need to be given as if the woman loves it, whether or not it's actually true.

Is this not a good general rule for most of life's interactions?

Mario said...

Absolutely hot! And I think it's even more sexier if you use sex toys for men when having sex. :D

Anonymous said...

Absolutely share, those inner desires and lusts are gold. When my wife shares with me I go out of my way to incorporate it for her so she is able to live her dreams.

Freak

Anonymous said...

Plain living and high thinking.

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