Friday, May 22, 2009

On Blowjobs- (warning somewhat of a bitchy post ahead)

(This post perhaps won't endear me to my darling male readers)

In my fantasies I frequently envision myself kneeling down in front of a man and incapacitating him with my skill, tongue and sucking. As I work on his cock he becomes in capable of forming a coherent word or thought.

For me, this is ideal. When I am performing this act on a man I consider it a gift. And I want to own it and control where I go with it.

Some women love giving blow jobs. The crave it. They feel incomplete after an encounter if they haven't had the chance to take him in their mouth.

Me? not so much. I'm not one of those women who hate it and refuse to swallow or anything like that. But I am decidedly neutral on the subject. I have to be in the mood.

It actually causes me more than a little bit of pain - I've had jaw issues for years. I haven't chewed gum since high school. The more blow jobs I give - the quicker the pain comes. So the first time in a while I can handle OK. But doing it again too soon? Well, you better cum fast honey, cause I can't linger.

So as far as I'm concerned? Blow jobs have to be somewhat of a special treat. And I want to be in control. I absolutely abhor men who push down on my head while doing it. A not-so-subtle hint that he would like me to go deeper.

I wonder how their egos would take it if I started demanding that they thrust deeper? Oh, that's as far as you can go? Oops!

Ahem. Anyhow. I had a boyfriend once who had the audacity to compare me to another girl in the oral sex department. I was much younger and therefore more insecure back then, so he should consider himself fortunate that I simply took his comments as a personal challenge to give him the best blow job of his 19 years.

The next person I dated called them "hummers." Perhaps because of the pleasurable sensation a man feels when the woman hums in the midst of it? I've never heard anyone use the expression before or since. But I do find it difficult to mention the vehicle of the same name with a straight face now.

So back to the incoherence - I prefer my men to end up in this state for a variety of reasons:

a) He's happy so he won't get all pushy on my head
b) It will most likely end quickly so I'm not in as much pain
c) Who doesn't like their partner to be mindless with bliss?

Anyone else have some less traditional thoughts on blowjobs?

16 comments:

Ms Scarlett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms Scarlett said...

*Sorry about the deleted post! Damn laptop seized up halfway through it!


My own experience has led me to believe that a lot of women really hate giving blow jobs, and this I can't understand. (I'm not talking about swallow vs. spit - some just can't deal with the taste, and let's face it, there's only so much mango a guy can eat.)

When I give a blow job it feels like the ideal mix of submission and domination. I might be on my knees, but there's no question about who's in control. In this, I agree with you: I want him mindless with bliss, fighting to stay on his feet, and unable to string a sentence together.

Cuz honey, forcing me to deep throat you until I gag just aint sexy...

hubmanshangout said...

Don't get me wrong, I love getting blowjobs as much as any other guy. But if the woman isn't that into it? That's fine. Heck, most of the time, Veronica only sucks my cock enough to get me wet before I slip inside her ;-)

Though it the woman knows how to and enjoys deep throating, that ROCKS! lol....

Topaz said...

I was thinking of posting on this myself, so this is a delight to read! I love giving head IF I'm in a relationship (that is, I do this to both H and DL). I swallow or let them cum anywhere below the neck. No facials for me! I've let H cum all over my lips, but it makes me gag. I absolutely hate the smell/taste of a man's cum. If he shoots at the back of my throat, not so bad, I can take it.

Funny story:
When I told DL 'you know, I have no gag reflex...' HE DIDN'T GET IT... (until I demonstrated) only guy who couldn't even piece it together...

Redheaded RidingHood said...

I love it, and I absolutely love the feeling of control it gives me. I can and will suck cock for as long as it takes, and then some. I didnt like it at first, I hated the thought, the feel, the taste, until I realized the power behind it and the intimacy and connection behind oral sex. I love to have him comfortable on pillows or in a chair and watching me.

Nolens Volens said...

I don't push on the head at all. I actually LET the woman dictate the pace but I appreciate it more when she asks how she is doing and how she could improve.

What I hate the most is the same technique being performed over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down...no variety...I lose interest fast and she can tell when my cock doesn't fill her mouth up anymore.

With that said, I am all for letting the woman be in control. I always let her know I am coming so she can choose to swallow or not.

See, I am not ticked off at you. You were willing to discuss this and I am willing to share my opinion with you and others.

autumn said...

i'm quite a fan of giving blow jobs honestly but i know what you mean about being in control of it. it's really all about comfort levels and what you are comfortable doing.

i knew this girl once who said that she wouldn't swallow. i never really understood why you would expend all the energy it takes to really rock his world, only to spit it out.

i don't have any jaw issues however, i recall times where my jaw was very sore during/afterwards. that sucks.

autumn said...

oh yeah!

that ex bf of yours was stupid/silly for comparing, but i'm smiling to read you took it as a challenge. good on ya!

Mike said...

I got a good laugh too when the Hummer truck came out. Just don't hum it's a small world while your doing it and it should be okay.

Ron in Florida (Ronald10021) said...

It's been so long since I've gotten one that I'm speechless from just reading your post.....

Aurore said...

I love giving them (although my currently too large tonsils are impeding my skills - I know TMI!) but I get kind of nauseous about the aftertaste. Initially, I love it but there is something about what happen about a minute or two right after swallowing...blah! It doesn't stop me from givin' it my all though ;)

The Duchess said...

OK, I must learn to get better at responding to all of my lovely commenters:

Ms Scarlett- thanks for stopping by! I'm actually fine with swallowing, that part doesn't really bother me. Although to be honest, it's not chocolate, and I swallow more out of etiquette than anything. :P

Hubman- how could that not rock? I agree :)

Topaz - that is quite a hilarious story- and kind of sweet too...

Redhead- nice to see you! And it's great that there are women out there that love it as much as you do!

Nolens- variety of course is important. And bless you for not pushing on the head. It really can be annoying.

Autumn- as I mentioned above, its not like it tastes that great...but I agree, spitting is a bit rude and unnecessary. The swallowing is such a tiny detail - why not just do it? (Follow it up with a chaser of some sort :))

Autumn X 2: yeah, I was pretty awesome that way - but seriously, when is comparing without being asked EVER a good idea?? :P

Mike- I actually just heard someone use the expression yesterday! I guess it is more widely spread than I thought.

Ron- aww honey- too bad you're not closer, I want to give you one right now...

Aurore- A chaser honey! Always have a drink nearby to wash out the taste if you hate it! Take care of yourself and feel better! xo

Andy said...

First of all, if there's pain involved nobody could hold it against you for not liking or wanting to give a BJ. Some women like it, some are naturally gifted, some are both, some neither. It is what it is.

I like a good BJ as much as the next guy, but I don't crave them any longer. Most of the women I've been with have been very oral - I've had more than my share. So while I like getting head, it's not a requirement.

I do like to take some control when women are comfortable with it. Pushing a head down to my dick, grabbing hair, mouth-fucking - all excellent, imo. But I also appreciate a simple straight BJ.

Riff Dog said...

I love getting oral, but I have to say, I like it even better when it's a "special treat." It makes it even better.

And overall, I'm with Hubman - If you're into it, great! But if not, I'm cool with that too, because there are lots of other fun things we can do. ;-)

In my neighborhood, we would also use the term "Hummer," by the way.

Anonymous said...

My wife if quite good at it, but it is a mood thing. One thing I have found, though, is that if I start with really 'worshiping' her orally, and with steamy foreplay, she gets VERY interested in giving head. She has a very sensitive gag reflex, but still tries to deep throat when the mood is right.
Why do guys push on her head or sometimes like the 'gag'? Pushing is a control thing sometimes, plus it may be he is SO into it that he is only thinking more. I don't do it, but sometimes I REALLY want to.
Gag? Well, gag=big (in thought, anyway)... and the whole manhood=penis size thing so...

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