Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Opportunity Lost

I was 17 - his name was Shawn and he was adorable. We were at a party for a mutual friend's birthday and had never laid eyes (or anything else) on each other before.

I was recently out of my first real relationship. The one that taught me about both the beauty and disillusionment that comes from one boy being your first everything. First make-out session. First nudity. First blow job. First Sex. And all the gloriously tentative steps leading up to each of those milestones.

Dave, asshole though he was, opened me up in so many ways. He made my delicate soft petals blossom into their first glow of sensuality. And once those petals have unclenched, it's impossible for them to retreat back into a tight bud of innocence again. Those petals now crave to feel the heat and wetness of the sun and dew with increasing longing and regularity.

They burst forth more easily and quickly with each new stimulation. And Shawn? He stimulated right to the core of those nubile succulent petals. All the way down to the roots.

The second I saw him I couldn't take my eyes from his. And I was shocked to find that he responded. Soon he was sitting in a corner with me and the hostess - equally charming and alluring.

I gazed into his brown eyes and found myself drowning in their depths. I felt an increasingly familiar heat fall over me. I's never actually felt lust for anyone until that point in my life. But lust is what it was- unequivocally.

His lips pouted sexily and begged to be sucked and nibbled on as he talked to me of the most innocent things. I had the urge to crawl into his lap and shove my tongue in his mouth. To guide his hands to my breasts and feel that jolt between my legs as he squeezed them and pinched my nipples.

My last boyfriend had been an asshole, yet I gave it up to him anyhow. What would I be willing to do for someone who turned me on like this? Almost anything I'd wager.

But that night? I was caught up in my own insecurities. I had no idea what to do with this heat and desire. It overwhelmed me almost to the point of incapacitation. So I did nothing. I talked, and acted demure - certain that my feelings (of lust) would not be returned.

The next day I found this was untrue - it turns out he had thought I was hot. Unfortunately, life intervened, and he and the hostess lost touch. Neither of us ever saw him again.

A lost opportunity that still haunts me half a lifetime later.

Want to read about more sexy Lost Opportunities? Why not check out these other bloggers?

Aurore of Dangerous Liaisons (

Dick Fitzwell of the Taste of Another Man’s Wife (

The Kink Chronicles (

Hubman of Hubman’s Hangout(

Topaz of Gemology (

Autumn of The First Day of Autumn (

Bdenied of Cuckold Husband (

Sexie Sadie of Confessions From My Open Marriage(

Library Vixen of Library Vixen (

Andy of Too Respectable (

Redheaded Ridinghood of Maitresse Rouge (

Southerngirl of From There to Here (

Eden's Dragon of the Temptation Fetish (

And the woman who brings us all together, Kimberly of The Errant Wife (


Topaz said...

The beautiful thing about it is that memory of the innocent desire for him is with you and is timeless. You will never experience his quirks and his flaws. In this memory, he is the most perfect he could be.

Confessor X said...

Great post, well written...and one of the more powerful tools we have is our memory...;)

Nolens Volens said...

Have you lost an opportunity since then?

Kimberly said...

Oh god!!! So frustrating!!! I love that rush of lust that smacks you when you meet some people!

You should facebook-stalk him! Or is it better as a memory do you think?

Aurore said...

Beautiful post and amazing memory.

Anonymous said...

Well, I agree with others about the memory. I would add though that the imagination is also now fertile ground for the future. You can embrace the memories and put forth your future.

bdenied said...

if we only knew then what we know now there would be fewer lost opportunities

autumn said...

oh such a bitter sweet moment. so caught up in insecurities at that age. no question. if we only knew then what we know now? oh the opportunities we would take!

i closed my eyes and remembered that feeling at that age as i read this. great post!

Ms Scarlett said...

You describe that sensation of youthful lust so perfectly - what a great story!

The Duchess said...

Topaz - ahh it was all so fleeting. And yes, he does remain perfect.

X- and with him? That's all I've got.

Nolens - are you implying that this memory is too old? I'll try to come up with something more recent for next time!

Kimberly- I have NO idea what his last name was. Otherwise I absolutely would!

Aurore - thanks lovey.

Southern- that's very deep :)

Bdenied- nah, I'm still a wimp - I bet I would do the exact same thing again. Except now I would get his last name and Facebook stalk him!

Autumn- aww, thanks honey!

Ms Scarlett- it was definitely lust alright...I can still feel it!

Riff Dog said...

Yeowch. That's the tragedy of the teen years with all the insecurities that kept us from making moves we should have. Nicely written, by the way.